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When Pressure Replaces Purpose
When expectations grow, purpose can get buried beneath pressure. Drawing from a heartbreaking varsity water polo loss, this article explores how pressure impacts young athletes, leaders, and entrepreneurs alike, and why reconnecting with purpose is often the key to resilience, confidence, and long-term success.
10/15/20264 min read
Last night was a tough one.
My son and his varsity water polo team suffered a heartbreaking loss last night. After a hard-fought battle that went into overtime, they lost by a single goal to a rival team.
As parents, it's difficult to watch. As competitors, it's difficult to accept. But as I reflected afterward, I realized I wasn't thinking about the scoreboard.
I was thinking about pressure.
Water polo and swimming have been part of our lives for years. I've watched my son grow up in the water. I've watched countless practices, tournaments, early mornings, long drives, and team celebrations. At its core, it has always been about something simple:
The joy of the sport. The love of the game. This year feels different.
These young men have accomplished something special. They've beaten teams they haven't defeated in years. They've put together an incredible season and have a legitimate chance to bring home a state championship, achieving something that has never been done before in Zeeland water polo.
People are noticing. Articles are being written. The community is talking. Expectations are growing. And while all of that comes from a place of excitement and support, it also creates something else:
Pressure.
The kind of pressure that quietly shifts the focus from, "We get to do this," to, "We have to do this."
These are 16- and 17-year-old boys, yet they're carrying the hopes of parents, coaches, classmates, alumni, and an entire community that wants to see them succeed. That's a heavy burden for anyone.
As I thought about it, I couldn't help but wonder how often, as adults, we unintentionally add to that burden. We all want these young athletes to succeed. We invest our time, energy, and emotions into the teams we support. We cheer from the stands, drive countless miles to practices and tournaments, and celebrate every victory right alongside them.
But sometimes, without realizing it, our excitement can become another weight for them to carry.
When every conversation revolves around rankings, playoff possibilities, championships, or expectations, young athletes can begin to believe their value is tied to the outcome on the scoreboard.
What they need most from us isn't more pressure. They need support. They need to know that a tough loss doesn't diminish what they've accomplished, that their character matters more than a championship banner, and that we are proud of their effort, dedication, and the way they show up for one another regardless of the outcome.
Years from now, most of them won't remember every score. What they will remember are the friendships they built, the lessons they learned, and the people who stood beside them through both the victories and the disappointments.
As adults, our role isn't to place expectations on their shoulders. Our role is to create an environment where they can compete freely, learn from setbacks, and continue to find joy in the sport they love. Because when young athletes feel supported rather than pressured, they play with confidence. And when they play with confidence, amazing things become possible.
Ironically, pressure rarely brings out our best performance. Whether in sports or leadership, people thrive when they are grounded in purpose, supported by those around them, and focused on the process instead of the outcome.
The more I reflected on this, the more I realized how often we do the exact same thing in leadership. We convince ourselves that we have to be the best. We have to prove ourselves. We have to achieve the next goal. We have to succeed. And failure isn't an option.
I've felt that pressure myself while building my business.
When you start something of your own, it can feel like every decision matters. Every setback feels bigger. Every mistake feels more costly. Suddenly, the joy that inspired you to begin gets buried beneath the weight of expectations.
The pressure turns inward. And when that happens, we lose sight of our purpose. We forget why we started. We forget what success really looks like.
At the end of the day, sports were never just about trophies. They're about learning to work together. They're about commitment and discipline. They're about resilience after a tough loss. They're about learning how to handle adversity and continuing to show up.
And yes, they're supposed to be fun.
The same is true in leadership. Leadership isn't about collecting titles. It's not about proving your worth. It's not about being perfect. It's about growth. It's about serving others. It's about learning, adapting, and continuing to show up when things don't go your way.
Sometimes the most important thing we can do is take a step back and reconnect with our purpose.
For these young athletes, that purpose might simply be remembering why they first jumped into the pool. Because they love the game. Because they love competing alongside their teammates. Because they enjoy being part of something bigger than themselves.
And I believe that when they return to that mindset, they'll become even stronger. Not because the pressure disappears, but because their purpose becomes greater than the pressure.
As these young men prepare for the next chapter of their season, my hope for them isn't simply that they bring home a championship.
My hope is that they remember why they first got in the pool.
That they remember the friendships, the laughter, the countless hours of practice, and the love they have for the game. Because whether they bring home a trophy or not, they have already accomplished something remarkable. They've learned how to work as a team, overcome adversity, and keep showing up when things get hard. And perhaps that's the greatest victory of all.
There is a leadership lesson in that for all of us.
Whether we're building a business, leading a team, raising a family, or chasing a dream, pressure will always be there. The question is whether we'll let it define us. Or whether we'll come back to the reason we started in the first place.
Because when purpose leads, pressure loses its power.
And sometimes that's exactly what it takes to go all the way.
